Rebirth of Heroes
by A Mundane Otaku
Summary: Where do Heroes go after death? Well after death they surpass the reincarnation phase and go straight to the Throne of Heroes, a literal paradise. However a Heroic Spirit by the name of Solomon decided it was time to have fun outside the Throne of Heroes. And so he took a rag tag team of Heroes into the DXD multiverse in hopes of conquering it whole... Along with Mars...
1. Chapter 1

_Author's notes- Good day everyone, I bring to you a comedy styled Fate/DXD crossover. While there will be serious moments like fights with bossess, these characters will always diffuse most situations with comedy. I am aiming to have this similar to Daily Life of High School Boys. This first chapter is just a prologue, the chapter that gets the main cast together. Well, I won't take anymore of your time, without further ado you may read on._

 _Disclaimer - I don't own the Fate and DXD series_

* * *

"Hey" = Speech

'Hello' = Thoughts

 _Howdy_ = Incantation

""GOOD DAY"" = Everyone's Speech

*Ahem* = Sound Effect

* * *

Chapter 1 - Prologue

* * *

The concept of heroes are always affiliated with the concept of perseverance. In every heroic epic, the willpower to achieve their ideal, transcendended time to be acknowledged by mankind as the symbol of humanity and what they can achieve. Whether they are demi-gods, followers of Gods or anti-heros, the fact remains, they possess human attributes. Sometimes the original stories can be distored with time, like Sir Francis Drake being a women, King Arthur being a women, and Atilla the Hun being a women. However again the symbolic significance still remains the same. If one were to see the mundane quirks the Heroes of Humanity possessed, then they would 100% think, "Man, in the end we're all human. Imperfect and idiotic."

* * *

"Oui oui Merlin, the Throne of Heroes said you have to introduce a new hero to the Throne of Heroes."

The white/blue haired magus turned from his plate of pasta to see a tanned shirtless man with his arms crossed. Merlin proceeded to sigh and turn back to his plate, "Oh hey Yakuza Beowulf, can we talk later, I'm eating right now."

Suddenly Merlin was picked up by the collar and forcefully turned to see the scornful face of Beowulf, "Oui oui when I say you have to do something, you do it you bloody pretty boy."

Merlin nervously sweated as he remarked, "Wait didn't you say the Throne of Heroes wanted me to do it, not you?"

Beowulf faltered slightly before lifting Merlin's collar higher, "Look here flower boy, the Throne of Heroes originally wanted me to introduce the new guy. But I clearly don't wanna do it, you see my problem here."

Merlin gulped as he tried to reason, "Wait wait I already introduced the last guy King Hassan, why do I have to do it?"

The Magus of the Flowers was forcefully shoved a few millimeters towards Beowulf's face, "Oui oui you call that introducin? He locked himself in his room as soon as he got here. Now unless you wanna die again, I suggest you introduce him now."

Pendragon's Court Magus squeaked, "Can I atleast finish my pasta?"

His plea was not acted upon as Beowulf ran outside with Merlin dragged behind him from the cafeteria into the corridors, "I'm counting on ya flower boy." Before Merlin could say anything, Beowulf tossed him as hard as he could down the corridor with enough strength to break the sound barrier.

* * *

As Shirou expected, he arrived at the gateway to the Throne of Heroes after death, under Ruler class no less. What a record he must of left behind, the third most powerful figure in the world. Shirou was a humble man, a man of good manners, however on this one occasion he let out a cheerful and boastful laugh that would broke his aura of magnificence. His laughing was halted when he noticed a young man with blue hair in white robes. Shirou immediately stopped his laughing as he straightened up with a small blush on his face, "Salutations my friend, please do not mind my laughing, it just seemed like the appropriate gesture to release after death."

The white robed man waved it off, "Don't worry about it man, celebrate all you want, you're in the Throne of Heroes now." He resisted the urge to wink appraisingly upon sight of Shirou's clothing, a getup known from the Break/Zero craft essence. Merlin cleared his throat as he introduced himself, "Hello to you too my friend, I am Merlin the Magus of the Flowers, here to formally introduce you to the Throne of Heroes."

Shirou cheerfully smiled as he saluted, hand to his forehead, "To he greeted into the Throne by Merlin no less, I am not worthy of such an honor."

Merlin waved it off again, "Don't worry about, it's kind of my job to greet people here."

Shirou let a thought enter his speech, as he stopped saluting and raised his eyebrow at him, "I beg your pardon friend, but your job is to wait for people to die, so you break down their death?"

Merlin hummed in thought, "Well technically yes."

"That's cruel friend."

"Everything dies eventually."

"That's dark."

"Ahem, enough of that." Merlin raised his hands in a celebratory matter "Congratulations! Welcome to the Throne of Heroes Shirou Emiya!" The flowers below his feet cheered silently in a comical matter, cheering wai.

"You have my gratitude Merlin, I appreciate it."

"No problem friend, you were close about almost conquering Mars though."

"That my friend, was a sucker punch that was just cruel..."

* * *

 **MARS**

Supreme Praetorian Admiral Shirou Emiya was at his deathbed, lying against the remains of one of his spaceship fleet, missing an arm with a gaping hole in his side. This very moment was the final push to conquer all of Mars, once they captured the city of interest his forces would have a monopoly of all the mineral sites and supplies that Mars had to offer. Having the city under control would mean that all the other cities would soon fall due to encirclement and lack of supplies, attrition would win him the war at the cost of more than half of his forces. He was sure that his second in command could pick up where he left, he taught her well, leaving only the feeling of satisfaction on his victory of the 200 year war. At his last breath he smiled victoriously as he looked up to the artificial sky, "Haha…. I still died alone in battle…. I guess things never change..." And with that life spilled out of him as he fell into permanent slumber, right before an array of pods flew down crashing onto the ground, soldiers in menacing shining heavy armor ran out of the pods, checking their leader's condition. They confirmed his death and saluted to him in all due silence, arms across their chest among the array of plasma explosions and several more pod landings.

* * *

 **THRONE OF HEROES**

"Oh well, you'll get em next time if you win the grail."

"My friend, I'm by default Ruler class, I can't win Grail Wars."

"Steering away from the topic at hand, you sure are vastly different compared to your counterpart, may I ask why that is?"

"In my short two hundred years of life, I learned a lot from many people, the most influencing being a crazy old man and time cheating women. Drawing a conclusion, they found my honesty a subject worthy of bullying."

"Ahhh, I suppose that would change a man no matter how strong, well I suppose our simple chat should pause for a bit now." Merlin's staff materialized within his hand, "I'm going to open the gate now." He raised his staff and the flowers below him spread like a wildfire, an intense hurricane blew from his staff causing pink petals to surround the duo.

 _"Gate of Heroes_

 _Heed the call of a hardened man_

 _A man forged from fire and tempered by war_

 _A man that surpassed the steel chains of fate_

 _A man who reached where no man has reached before_

 _Shirou Emiya, Savior of Gaia and conqueror of Unknown_

 _The man who chases the ever growing Horizon_

 _The Throne of Heroes welcomes you."_

"So yeah, our first order of business is to introduce you to your fellow residents." They both walked through the door revealing a long hallway decorated in diamonds and platinum, giant statues of knights hugged the walls as their spears pointed upwards like the knights of old would salute to their uppers. There was no ceiling, but the sky was littered with stars forming constellations or comets. Truly a place worthy of Heroes. They stopped at a door on the side, a door decorated with colourful blue xenon lights with a gold skull carved into it. Merlin gestured to the door, "Alright here's the first Hero of the day."

"May I ask who we're visiting?"

Merlin winked at him before opening the door, "You'll find out soon." As the door opened it revealed the deep dark emptiness of space.

"Ummm Merlin, how does one get in?"

"That's a good question friend."

"I believed you greeted heroes into the Throne of Heroes? I find it strange to see your incompetency at this point?"

"Hey it's my first time doing this! The new guy King Hassan said he didn't need a tour and locked himself in his room!"

Shirou sweatdropped, "There's another Hassan?"

Merlin raised his hand to defend the assassin, "Hey, they have an excuse to have several counterparts."

They stared into the empty space looking for any sort of transport. Shirou's eyes widen as a plan formed in his head and slammed his fist into his palm, "I have an idea!"

Merlin turned his attention to Shirou as hummed, "Hmmm care to enlighten me?"

Shirou smirked cheerfully as he laughed in a borderline Gilgamesh laugh fashion, "Nyaahaha! As a experienced space combatant, I know a method to travel these plains!"

Merlin replied blank faced, "Mhmm, remember magecraft doesn't work in space."

Shirou laughed more, "I wouldn't make such a rookie mistake my friend, everyone knows without the Earth's atmosphere you can't enact mysteries." His face instantly changed into the commander personal he adopted over the centuries of war, "This is what we will do." Merlin, enraptured by Shirou's B rank Charisma, paid close attention.

"We jump off and call for help."

Merlin nodded out of reflex, before widening his eyes then transforming into his chibi artstyle and shouting, "That's a terrible plan!"

Shirou also turned into his chibi version and said, "It's the only way."

"What do you mean It's the only way!"

He adopted a smug look and gave a thumbs up, "Trust me"

"I just met you!"

A new figure arrived, "Hey what are you guys talking about?"

Merlin crossed his arms, "Oh, Shirou is just being silly."

Shiro recoiled back in hurt, "I beg your pardon! I'll have you know, that I used that tactic around 20 times, and had no casualties!"

"I can't believe you actually did that in real space."

The figure threw her hands in the air in praise, "Ohhhhhh Tensai-desuka!(Genius)"

"Nyahahaha I am aren't I!"

Merlin deadpanned resisting the urge to face-palm, "I don't even care anymore." With that the chibi scene ended and Merlin spoke up, "So back to the topic at hand how do we get to the Hero here?"

The figure's voice echoed, "You could always ring the bell."

Merlin face-palmed, "Right we have a doorbell system, thanks X-chan"

"No problem."

Merlin and Shirou closed the door and rung the bell. "My friend Merlin, who was that girl next to us?"

"Ohh that's the resident we were visiting."

"Ahhh I see, she seems nice."

"Umu, she's nice, but don't reveal her identity, she wants to keep it secret."

The door opens and it reveals the girl from before, she had blonde hair tied into a small ponytail and wore a blue and black baseball cap, she wore a black and blue glowing sports bra that had sleeves that reached the hand like a fingerless glove. The sports bra left the stomach area completely free, and only stretched to the sides of the stomach. She wore short shorts that were black, and had black and blue sneakers. The last of her apparel was a blue and gold scarf then hanged on her arm and floated around her magically. It was indeed very revealing. But that was not the surprising part. She looked exactly like-

"Saber!"

"Aahhhh Shirou?"

Shirou with eyes wider than a fish moved his gaze to Merlin who was mouthing "Please stop" while gesturing his neck in a silencing matter. Merlin coughed and spoke up rather hastily, "Well Shirou, you are incorrect, she is Assassin not Saber, and her name is Mysterious Heroine X."

She coughs rather suspiciously and refers to Shirou, "Aherm, yes I am Assa- WAIT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!" She screams while slapping Merlin like she was slamming her fist down, "MY CLASS IS SABER AND NOT ASSASSIN."

Merlin who was unaffected by the outburst calmly stated, "The Throne of Heroes deemed you Assassin Class."

"Ahhhh, that stupid Grail and those stupid containers! Just because I want to kill all Sabers, doesn't mean I'm an Assassin!"

Shirou and Merlin stared blankly at her, ""I'm pretty sure that would make you an Assassin if you want to murder someone""

She grumbled under her breath some more curses before she froze and mechanically turned her body to see a confused and shocked Shirou. "Aha...aha...aha...hello Shir-I mean stranger I have never seen before...aha... I am Mysterious Heroine X, but you can call me X-chan." Shirou was about to speak before he was interrupted by Artori-I mean X-chan, "Before you say anything! I am not Artoria! We are completely different people…. Aha...aha...aha…"

Shirou deadpanned before doing a mental comparison to Saber and X-chan. NO DIFFERENCE! But then he looks down to her chest. He places a hand on her shoulder as he gave her a look of pity, "I'm sorry."

A blood vessel on X-chan's forehead burst forward, "I'm not sure why I'm pissed off, but can you like die in a hole."

Shirou withdraws his hand as his his gaze drifted to Merlin who was again, silently pleading. This shows his loyalty to Artoria Pendragon, what a guy huh. Shirou steeled himself preparing for an awkward situation, "Ahaha… Salutations X-chan, I am the Supreme Praetorian Admiral of The United Nations Shirou Emiya-"

"I know that your name is Shirou" A few seconds of silence occurred as everyone deadpans also changing everyone's art styles to leave overshadowed shadows, "Aha…I mean who doesn't know you… aha."

Merlin coughed away the awkward silence, "Yeah if you didn't know X-chan is a general from Mars." Shirou then gasped as his eyes went blank. "Oh and X-chan Shirou conquered all of Mars." X-chan then gasped as well as her eyes also went blank.

After a few seconds of silence Shirou and X-chan jumped into the hallways several metres apart, "Oho, so you almost conquered Mars heh? I thought you didn't look like my Shirou."

Around Shirou suddenly formed a 12 layered runic barriers that rotated around him, and spoke out, "You are correct about me being a different Shirou, but after seeing your body gestures and langauge, I now understand why you became an assassin." He pointed at her, "You just wanted me for yourself so you decided to kill every love rival!"

A few minutes of silence occurred, X-chan's face became just pure rage with a barely visible blush, "THAT WAS NOT WHY BAKA!"

"You decided to become a Yandere! Yes that does make sense! My Saber always was jealous when Alter flirted with me!"

"BAKA SHIROU WHY WO-wait how were there two different Sabers in your universe?"

Merlin added his two cents, "X-chan being jealous would make sense, if I remember there are around fifteen Saberfaces in Nasu." Merlin quickly appeared beside X-chan to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, followed by a thumbs up, "Hang in there X-chan."

Merlin suddenly dodged an unexpected laser blast from X-chan, "SHUT IT MERLIN!" She finally summoned her two swords, Excalibur and Excalibur Morgan. But no one actually knows their names so keep it secret (Everyone knows). "Shirou fight me! Time to test if you really do deserve to be called a Hero!" She charged forward leaving a trail of craters, using her prana burst skill on her two blades causing them to work like thrusters.

* * *

 **In another room within the Throne of Heroes**

There, a blue man fishes by a river. He snapped his head and sniffs, then he grins, "I smell a fight." (*Ahem ahem* dog) "WHO SAID THAT!"

* * *

 **Back to Shi-chan and co**

Shirou waved his hands around like crazy and abandoned his formality, "Hey hey hey I'm a support servant that buffs up with time!"

X-chan stopped her pursuit and expressed a confused look, before pulling out a phone and searching up something on the Grand Order wikia. She then held her phone up for Shirou to see, "Change class then, that's your Noble Phantasm right?"

Shirou's smile wavered as it twitched, "The rules of the Throne of Heroes says I can't use certain abilities, which completely destroy my build."

X-chan tilted her head, "What can you not do?"

Shirou hummed as he crossed his arms, "Well I can't call in guys, so Saber, Archer, Lancer, Caster, Avenger and Assassin are out." After his sentence X-chan turned her gaze away while keeping to herself a concealed chuckle. Realising her target of laughter Shirou frowned at her, "If you have something you want to say, say it to my face."

X-chan stopped her held in chuckle as she smirked at Shirou triumphantly, "Hohoho, you're just a useless servant that can't do anything but hide behind his troops."

A lone blood vessel on Shirou's forehead burst forward as his smile wavered, "Haha surely you jest X-chan, my Berserker class is pretty fearsome."

X-chan gasped in mock terror, "Oh no! What are you gonna do? Hide behind your wall of swords?"

Shirou's forehead then began to bulge even more, "If you're trying to taunt me, it's not working. After all I am a peaceful pacifist."

Merlin scoffed, "Says the one who fought and conquered a whole planet and species."

Shirou waved his hands around in defence, "My friend you must understand, we didn't start that war!"

X-chan smirked, "But you did finish it using violence."

Shirou smiled at X-chan in a massively strained way, "Assassin, you would best believe it to be unpleasant to go against my Reality Marble. Don't make me summon it."

Merlin interrupted before any development, "Oui, Reality Marbles are banned here."

"I beg your pardon?"

Merlin shrugged his shoulders, "Well I wasn't here when it happened, but I heard that Iskander broke the Throne of Heroes with his Reality Marble."

X-chan nodded in understanding, "Ohhhh, that's why the maintenance extended."

Shirou sweat-dropped, "Can we not talk about that mobile game right now?"

Merlin frowns as he whined, "Ehhhh, why not? I love this game."

X-chan screams, "Well of course you'd like the game you have C-rank luck! I saw your twitter post! You got two King Hassans in one ten roll pull!"

Merlin frowns as he counter attacked, "Hey hey hey, let's not forget who got three Artorias. D-rank luck is not that far off C-rank luck."

X-chan swung her sword around rapidly, "That's more of a curse than anything else to me you cruel son of a gun!"

Shirou facepalmed, "Guys… I have E-rank luck you jerks."

Immediately the suffocating salty atmosphere changed to that of a teasing air, as Merlin poked Shirou on his arm repeatedly with a grin on his face, "Hmmmm, just curious but what 5 and 4 star servants do you have?"

Shirou sighed as he poured his heart and soul, "I haven't any 5 stars…. All I possess are Helenas and free event servants."

X-chan and Merlin put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, as they both give him a thumbs up, ""Fighto.""

Shirou's eyes started tearing up as he reached inside his pocket for his wallet, "I'm whaling the next event."

As Shirou got into the in-game store, his arms were suddenly grappled and his legs frozen in place, "MERLIN HOLD HIM BACK!"

"SHIROU DON'T CONVERT TO THOSE GUYS!"

* * *

 **Meanwhile with the walk by servants**

A white haired saint man sweat-drops with a wavy smile as he walked past with a kid with a book, "Anosa, can you do me a favour and not play with these three Alice?"

The white haired kid tilted her head in confusion, "Ehhh nande Father Shirou? They look like they're having fun."

He puts a hand on her hand, "It's too soon, you'll know their troubles when you grow up."

"Ano, I'm two centuries year old. When will I be old enough to know?"

"Give it 100 more centuries."

"Ehhhh! I wanna know now!"

"Alice-chan… Never grow up."

* * *

 **Back with the gang**

Shirou parried Excalibur Morgen to his left with his spear, stepping back rapidly to parry the next slash from True Excalibur delivered in a spin attack after he parried the last blow to expose her back. Shirou bends his back and spreads his legs as he bent down to sweep at X-chan's legs only for her to prana burst into the air and return to her hit and run tactics. Shirou deciding that it was a good time to stop before he lost, fired several noble phantasms from the air to gain some distance from X-chan, who dodged nd or parried every blade. "Hey, can we stop now, I still have more people I need to visit."

X-chan stopped her advanced to reply in kind, "This is heaven, we have no perception of time." She then went back to that annoying tactic Shirou hated, extending her blade's reach with prana grounding her footwork and slashing faster than sound. Shirou trying his damned hardest to parry them all spinning his spear so fast that the untrained eyes would see nothing. "This is the final attack Shirou, be prepared!" After being grounded for so long she jumped forward into her normal blade reach while Shirou was still recovering, as she raised both swords, "EX-" Shirou's eyes widened, as he took his last chance, "CALIBAHHH!"

With that, an arc of intensifying prana erupted at Shirou, creating an explosion. X-chan panted there for awhile, before quickly dodging a blast of plasma, "That was close Assassin, I had to sacrifice two cannons for that."

X-chan ignored the jab for that moment, "I see, those cannons of yours are not powered by mana, thus is allowed in the Throne."

Shirou nodded, "Although I can't call anything else in today, I still have a cannon I can use. I have analysed your fighting patterns and have estimated all your other patterns, after all, I am the master of countering." After his sentence completed, his eyes glowed even golder, as if he suddenly understood the physical plane. And around her several blades of all kinds blocked her advances, making every angle covered with no escapes. She began to burst around blocking or redirecting blades, every now and then having to dodge a few strikes of plasma.

Merlin whistled, "This guy is a pretty good support servant, although these two will be in stalemate for a very long time."

Shirou however suddenly had to parry a spear directed at his heart as his instincts guided his body for a riposte only for the spearman to parry and strike again. The spearman grinned and shouted "HEY NO SERIOUS FIGHTS WITHOUT ME!I mean- What the heck guys? You're playing without me?"

Suddenly the blue man felt a stabbing pain at his head. "AHHH BAKA LANCER! THIS IS MY FIGHT!" X-chan who he realised was the source of his stabbing pain was currently chewing his head off.

"AHHHH ASSASSIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"I'M SAVING MY HONOR!"

"YOU'RE AN ASSASSIN YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE HONOR!"

"ONORE!FOR THE LAST TIME I AM SABER NOT ASSASSIN!"

Shirou facepalmed, "Merlin… What happened to her?"

Merlin sighed as he replicated his face-palm, "Our perfect and mature King is no longer"

"Oh Merlin-san, umm what's going on here?" Merlin and Shirou turned to see a blonde haired girl with amethyst coloured eyes wearing a steel battle dress, blue cloth dangling down, with the last pieces of her attire being gauntlets paired with a headpiece.

"Ahh, it's rare to see you alone Jeanne-chan."

She shyly nods and speaks her mind, "Caster Gilles and Saber Gilles got into another fight for no reason again, so instead of trying to stop it like I usually do I decided to investigate the loud noises from here."

"*Ahem* speaking of your arrival, perfect timing Jeanne, let me introduce our newest resident Shirou Emiya."

She raised an eyebrow in confusion as she tilted her head, "Another alter?"

"Yes my dear, except this one is nicer than EMIYA and is a lot better in everyway."

* * *

 **In another room within the Throne of Heroes**

A tick mark appeared on the forehead of a certain white haired archer, 'I feel like I need to punch a pretty boy in the face,' he slammed his fist into his palm, 'Preferably a white haired magus.'

* * *

 **Back to Shi-chan and Co**

The girl nodded and turned to Shirou, "Hello Shirou-kun, my name is Jeanne D'Arc a ruler class like you." She bows in the Japanese fashion, "I hope you settle into the Throne of Heroes nicely."

Shirou sweatdropped at her resemblance to Artoria, but he smiled and saluted, afterwards returning the bow, "Thank you Jeanne-san, I remember your achievements from your time with the living, you truly did inspire my stratagems during many times in my life. The books written about you are truly enlightening, your words are wasted upon a faker such as me."

Jeanne snaps back up with a small blush before retorting, "Not at all Shirou-kun, if it's anyone is unworthy here it's me! I just saw from the records of the Throne of Heroes that you defended the earth from an unknown force from space! I'm honored to meet you, even if it is in death."

Before they could debate more they were interrupted by Merlin's chuckling, "Ohoho, looks like Type-Moon has to actually think about that Fate/Stay Night DLC."

Jeanne tilted her head not understanding what was implied, and Shirou raised an eyebrow before checking out Jeanne and indeed was very impressed by what he saw.

"AAAHHH, SABERFACE!" Saber came slashing down at Jeanne who's slash was stopped by a runic barrier.

Shirou then revealed himself as the caster, having his Break/Zero apparel replaced with a cloak similar to Merlin, his hands constantly writing runes in the air, "My apologies X-chan, but you must know that my principles still stand till today."

Assassin flinched back, "Don't tell me! Are you going to add Jeanne-chan to your harem!"

Shirou deadpanned, "I'm single."

"My point kind of still stands! What do you intend to do with Jeanne-dono!"

"Me and her are very compatible judging from her persona and history. Unwavering to her ideal, and purer than the waters. Very much like you in a sense."

"You already have me!"

"I never dated my Servant, it was an adult relationship to kill stress."

"You're the worst!"

"You say these things, but I sense that you don't actually mind don't you?"

"Yeah I don't as long as it's a Saberface."

"Another counter-argument would be that I don't see the horizon in her yet."

"The Horizon? What do you mean by that?"

"Oh don't mind it, it's an inside joke."

"Ummm Merlin-san, what are they talking about?" Jeanne asks completely oblivious to the conversation.

Merlin deadpans, "You'll learn later."

The blue man shouts, "Assassin come back here we're not done yet!"

Assassin angrily turns around to face the blue man, "AHHH, Cuchulain how you still alive."

Cu-chan grins and shows a thumbs up, "My battle-continuation skill."

Shirou gasps, "Impossible! Don't you know people die when they're killed!"

"Hey Merlin-ojisan, what's going on here?" A blonde kid in casual clothing stood next to Merlin.

"Ahh Gil-kun, the dog just came back to life."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DOG!"

"Ahhhh, sou-desuka(I see)." He turns his head to see Shirou, "Ahhh Shirou-san, it's been a while."

Shirou narrowed his eyes, before lighting up in remembrance, "Ohhh good day Gilgamesh, may I ask why are you a kid?"

"Because Nasu."

"Ahhh, that makes sense."

"Aha, nah I'm half-joking. I'm just the alter version of Gilgamesh who took the elixir of youth." Gil-kun nodded his head, "So you're showing him around are you? Can I tag along?"

Shirou nodded his head and smiled cheerfully, although it was weird talking to the King of Heroes without trying to kill each other, he still embraced it nonetheless. "Sure the more the merrier." Shirou gestured toward Merlin, "So where to?"

Merlin nodded, "Right, the next room is Solomon-san's room."

"Solomon, as in the one who invented magic?"

"The one in only."

A they closed in on their destination, Gilgamesh asked Shirou a question, "Ano(um) Shirou-san, if you don't mind me asking, what was your mentality when you did your last attack on mars?"

Shirou hummed, "Well, the plan was to capture Angor the mining city. If you captured that, we could advance our technology and magecraft. Once we captured that all the other cities would break down under attrition. Before anyone says anything, we invented a way to improve our technology while keeping to strength of mysteries the same."

Merlin lifted his staff in shock, "SORCERY!"

Gilgamesh ignored him, "So how did you die? The records from the Throne of Heroes only tell us that as you were advancing into the communications tower, the extraterrestrials detonated a nuke below the city and destroyed most of your forces. You yourself were injured as you used your magic to shield the surviving forces. So why did you confront the enemy commander?"

Shirou smiled in nostalgia, even though he just died recently. "Well, I wasn't expecting them to blow up their city, and I had plenty reason to think so. There were civilians, strategic resources and gold, even if they did defend it they would screw up their infrastructure and production meaning that we could just steamroll back in with the reserve force. I managed to save 48% of my forces at the cost of my right arm and most of my prana reserves, but nonetheless I ordered them to continue the attack. I myself continued on as well and was met with the enemy forces that were hidden in the nuke's blind spot. They had us really, lured us into a trap, predicted what our formation was. The next thing I knew both our battalions were at each other and the enemy commander and me were locked in battle. I had to fight him alone because him alone could actually turn the battle around if given the chance, and so I won the battle, but I bled out not too long after we successfully captured the city. Haha, what a terrible way to go out, well, I guess Shirou Emiya will always die in battle."

"Do you regret anything."

Shirou smiled at Gil, "Thankfully none that I can think of, I did everything to the best of my ability and always stayed true to my heart." Shirou narrowed his eyes slightly "I have no regrets, the the only path to march is towards the horizon."

"Umu, spoken like a true knight Shirou," Assassin said as her knight persona came back into form.

Jeanne nodded, "A true Hero has no regrets."

Lancer grinned, "Good on ya kiddo, you died a Hero's death. Not many get those you know." He then noticed a pout from Jeanne, "No offence to you ojou-chan."

"Anyways, we're here now!" Merlin rung the doorbell.

Gilgamesh tilted his head, "Hey Merlin-ojisan, are you sure this is the right place? I remember Solomon's door being gold and not silver?"

"Ara? You're right, this isn't Solo-chan." Merlin rubbed his head as he tried to figure out who this room belonged to. Suddenly he remembered, "Oh! I know! Those swords can only mean one thing! This is EMIYA's place."

Shirou suddenly got an urge to brag to him. So he waited for him to open the door. A few minutes later however, "EMIYA-ojisan open the door!"

After a few seconds of silence, the deep voice vibrated through the door, "Go away!"

Lancer barked (Ha, did you see that joke?Unintentional I swear) while banging on the door, "C'mon Archer! Come out and play!"

"Yada(No)! Go away and never come back!"

Jeanne asks with a bit of anger present, "Why is he always like this?"

Shirou humoured her and asked, "You don't like him do you Jeanne-chan?"

"Daikirai(I hate him)!" Flashbacks of mocking laughs, smirks, and pranks surfaced in her memory. Jeanne then attaches onto Shirou's arm, "Never change Shi-tan."

"Shi-tan?" Shirou asks with a smirk. She poked her tongue out as she pulled away with a smile and light blush.

However a small roaring could be heard from a certain Assassin, "STOP FLIRTING!" Assassin launched herself on top of Shirou while biting his head.

"AHHHHHH ASSASSIN STAWP IT!"

"I'M SABBEERR NOT ASSASSIN!"

"So it looks like EMIYA-ojisan isn't coming out." Gilgamesh sighed ignoring the two completely.

Merlin sighs, "I guess you're right about that." A devious smile came to form on his face and held out his hand, "Hey Gil-kun, wanna block his door?"

Gilgamesh adopts a devilish smile as he accepted his hand, "With pleasure."

* * *

"So this is Solomon's room?" Shirou asked as they stood in front of the door.

"Yes it is Shi-kun, the golden rings prove it!" Merlin then went forward to push the doorbell, but instead of a ringing, is was something else. And with that the floorboards opened below them. ""AHHHHHH""

A white haired man with a red robe chuckled as he watched them fall in, "I hope they have fun."

* * *

 **CHAPTER END**

Author's notes- I kind of rushed this because I just wanted to get into the DXD verse as quickly as possible. Anyways, for the DXD only viewers (if there are any, which I doubt), you might or might not get the Jokes and references I made in this chapter, and man I had a good time making these jokes. I'll probably have a better time with jokes once we're in the DXD verse. Unlike my previous works, I am motivated to continue this, and will try to keep this fire burning. Originally, I was going to have Shirou and Merlin arrive at every individual door to meet with others. But I kinda went off course and ended up with all the characters conveniently coming together. Update will not happen on a schedule so yeah.

I hope you liked this chapter, I found making the gags quite fun. Until next time

* * *

 **AFTER-CREDITS/OMAKE**

EMIYA sighed as he sat in his reality marble. Sometimes, living in the Throne of Heroes sucked. His Counter Guardian self must be having a great time sitting alone with no annoyances. He suddenly got a sudden urge for food, which was followed by his trademark sigh. 'Well, the annoyances have gone now, so I could get to the cafeteria in peace.' He reached for the door and tried to open it, however he found it harder than her thought. 'Ara, why won't it bulge?' He looked through the peeping hole to see not the hallway, but complete darkness. Suddenly, it all made sense, "THOSE BLOODY WANKERS!"

* * *

 **OUTSIDE**

Gil and Merlin high-fived, "Good idea using Enkidu to bring all the Statues to block up the door!" Merlin exclaimed with a devious face.

Gil returned his gaze, "Thank you Merlin-ojisan."

Merlin then returned to his normal peaceful face, "Oh well, let's get to the next room, which I'm sure is Solomon-san."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes- I am so bloody depressed right now….. I just used 120 Saint Quartz (60 unpaid and 60 paid) in the new Alter Mysterious Heroine X Gacha, and I didn't get her… Now I'm forced to actually finish the free quests in Babylon, and get all the summon tickets, and wait for daily saint quartz… And if I still don't get her… I will probably spend more money… I already used $39.99USD (Converts to 59.99 in my local currency) and I am willing to pay more. I should of listened to my gut and got the 9800yen pack(120.99NZD-Local currency). Anyways, here's chapter 2 right after my cries of salt. 120 SQ is a bloody ton a know. I look in the FGO discord channel and everyone is flaunting their Alter MXH around. Someone even got 3 in one roll! AHHHHHHHHH! I HATE THIS GAME! BLOODY NASU! This one is again more dialogue orientated, I promise the next chapter will actually move the plot I swear.

 _Disclaimer- I do not own the Fate or DXD series._

* * *

"Hey" = Speech

'Hello' = Thoughts

 _Howdy_ = Incantation

""GOOD DAY"" = Everyone's Speech

*Ahem* = Sound Effect

* * *

 **Chapter 2 - Sparking new Goals**

"I believe we were just cloned Merlin?"

"We were just cloned Shi-kun."

"How rude!"

"How very rude indeed."

"I just died, a break would be much appreciated!"

Merlin patted Shirou's back, "You'll get used to it my friend, however being cloned then put onto a street is new for me."

Gil-kun pulled Merlin's cloak, "Hey Merlin-ojisan, why are we spirits with flesh?"

Merlin crouched down and put a hand on Gil's shoulder, "Well Gil-kun, I hate to break it to you but we can't have real flesh, we're dead."

"Umm Merlin-ojisan, I don't think we're dead anymore."

"Ahaha you're a silly one aren't ya. We can't be alive we're spirits!"

"I hate to break to ya flower obsessed jiji(old man), but we have real flesh now." Lancer said as he attempted to go into spirit form only to have him dimly fade but suddenly come back.

"I swear everyone has gone mad! See let me go into spirit form and sho- ara? What?" Merlin touches his skin, "Wha-wha-what sorcery is this!"

People on the streets walked past while averting their gazes, "Mama look at those cosplayers!" A boy exclaimed as he pointed at the gang.

His mother pushed him away pulling his sleeve, "Don't look at them honey!"

Shirou deadpanned, "It seems as though they believe us to be cosplaying."

X-chan chuckles like she knew something they didn't, "They think I'm cosplaying Artoria, but actually… I am Artoria!"

Merlin then rushes to block Assassin's mouth, "You fool! Don't reveal your secret identity!"

Lancer deadpanned staring blankly at Assassin, "Everyone knows about it."

Shirou face-palmed, "Honestly, I'm more surprised that she actually revealed it so casually."

Gil-kun ignores the idiotic dialogue as he tries to go into spirit form as well, but fails, "Well… looks like the 3rd magic is involved."

Merlin pulled away from Assassin and angrily pouts, "The heck! Nobody even has the Heaven's Feel magic!"

"I invented magic, of course I can use it." A white haired man appeared next the them.

"Oh hey Solomon, do you have any clue on-" Merlin stares at the white haired king for a few seconds before smacking him multiple times with his staff. "Baka Solo-chan! Why did you use true magic! We can die again now! I was never dead to begin with but my point still stands!"

"Ow ow ow! Stawp it that hurts!" Merlin stopped with a pout as Solomon realigned his clothes. He then waved his hand at them with a indifferent stare, "Hey guys."

Everyone greeted in kind with a monotone voice, ""Hey.""

"Nice weather we're having."

""Umu.""

"Wait wait! Stop pulling us into your pace! Tell us why you reincarnated us!" Lancer said as he repeatedly smacked Solomon on the head with his spear.

"OW OW STOP PLEASE!" Lancer stopped and Solomon again realigned his clothes before turning his back on Lancer to see everyone else. "You may be wondering why I bothered to reincarnate you."

"I just told you we were wondering."

Solomon ignored him as he smirked and raised his hands to the sky, "Well the reason why is because I'm going to use you to takeover the world!" The demons in his pockets cheer *Wai! Wai! Wai!*

""Are you serious?"" Merlin and X-chan deadpanned as their eyes went blank.

"Oh yeah! That sounds plenty fun! Let's do it!" Lancer exclaimed as he cheered *wai* as well.

"I'm glad you approve of my plan." Solomon smirks with his ever so rare smug face.

Shirou went starry eyed as he took Solomon's hands, "ARE WE GOING TO TAKE OVER MARS!"

Solomon sweatdropped, "Umm, after we take over earth?"

Shirou's aura of magnificence broke even more as he let go of Solomon's hands and fistpumped, silently cheering, "Yesssss, I get to take over Marssss!"

"Hey Solomon-ojisan, why do I have to take over earth if it's already mine?" Words suddenly materialise into the world forming Solid Argument.

"Umm, you died so everyone took your stuff."

"Ehhhh! Hidou-yo!(That's mean)"

"Umm anyways Solomon, why is the mana in the air denser than usual?" Shirou gestured to his throat, "There's so much it's almost suffocating."

Solomon claps and points to Shirou, "Yes! You noticed that the mana in air is denser than normal!"

"Eh you're right, reminds me of when I was still alive." Lancer reminiscenced in nostalgia.

"Yes yes indeed, ahhh memories." Merlin says as he looks up into the sky.

Jeanne poked her fingers together shyly, "Ummm, I lived a little while after the Age of Gods ended so I wouldn't know."

"*Ahem* Back to the topic at hand,"

Jeanne's face goes blank as her mouth slung open, 'The one time I contribute to the conversation and I don't even get any reactions!'

"Have you noticed anything else, why don't you enact a mystery Shi-tan?"

Shirou shrugged and held out his hand, and a nameless blade materialised within it. However his faced showed his clear shock, "Wha? Solomon is this?"

Merlin sweatdropped, "Did you just use magecraft on the streets in the middle of daylight."

Shirou's eyes widen, as he repeatedly face-palms himself with enough strength to make him look extremely idiotic, "Right, magecraft isn't anything out of the ordinary anymore."

"MAGECRAFT ISN'T NORMAL TO BEGIN WITH!"

Solomon coughed away the conversation, before crossing his arms and nodding, "Umu, yes Shirou, it is exactly what you think it is." A pillar of fire suddenly erupted behind him as he raised his arms, "Gaia's logic is weaker here!"

"STOP USING MAGECRAFT IN PLAIN DAYLIGHT."

"Oh right, I should stop that now."

Jeanne nervously remarks, "Ummm that building's on fire now."

"Oh I can use my magecraft to put it out." Merlin pointed his staff up and suddenly water emerged from his staff and drenched the building putting the fire out.

Lancer shouted while waving his spear around, "You just said not to use magecraft!"

Shirou pointed a mundane sword at Merlin, "You hypocrite! Hypocrisy like that can't save anyone!"

"Anyways, Gaia's logic is weaker you say?" Merlin nodded, "That makes sense, I'm spreading more flowers than usual." He gestured toward the slowly but rapidly spreading flowers below him.

"Mum how did that man sprout a sword from nowhere, and how did that man make fire, and how did that-"

"Shhhh! Walk and don't look back!"

Gil-kun once again paying no mind the background, "Solomon-ojisan, why does it feel like Gods still roam the world?" Gil-kun said with a dangerously innocent look on his face.

"Let me just take care of this problem first, then I'll answer your question." Solomon whispered a few words before a wave of gold energy exploded and covered the whole area in it's wake.

The kid head his head in daze, "Hey mum, what were we talking about?"

His mother also held her head, "Um, I believe we were talking about how it's impolite to stare at strangers, no matter how strange."

Solomon nodded satisfied on his work before laughing and ruffling Gil-kun's hair, "That's because in this world you never killed them all!" He continued laughing as he patted his head rather roughly as Gilgamesh's eyes went blank and his mouth went slack.

Jeanne raised her hand slowly, "Ummm, Solomon-san? Are you suggesting that the Age of Gods never ended in this place?"

Solomon gave her a thumbs, "Yes yes Jeannu-chan! As expected of a saint! Sitting quietly and asking good questions like a teacher's pet!"

"Umm thank you?" However inside her mind, 'Yess I was praised! I'm on track to getting a Sakura Jeanne! Oh! Or even a swimsuit Jeanne!'

"I don't think being called a teacher's pet is praise." X-chan remarked with a deadpan as she noticed the look on Jeanne.

"Anyways! Since Gods still exist, that means other phantasmal beasts still exist."

"Ooohh! No way! That means I can hunt them down like old times!"

"Yes you can you bloodthirsty ruffian! However these phantasmal beasts are not like our ones. You should of already figured out we're in a different universe, so the differences should be there."

"So they don't breath pure mana and don't influence the world's logic?"

"Correct Merlin! Good guess! They don't roam around in plain sight either, as the rules of the moonlit world still exist. Except without the concept of mysteries."

"So the strength of magecraft never wavered over the centuries?"

"Ding ding ding! Yes yes Shirou! Magecraft never weakened here as technology advanced!"

Shirou's pupils changed from gold to fire as he fistpumped, "That means taking mars will be easy!"

"You should be worrying about taking over earth first."

"If you haven't figured out already, our magecraft system is vastly different to this world, so the magi of this world couldn't invent Magic Crests like we did."

Merlin swung his staff around angrily, "AHOUKA (Are they stupid?)! HOW COULD THEY HAVE OF NOT FOUNDED MAGIC CRESTS YET! EVERY MAGUS HAS TOO! HOW CAN THEY PRESERVE THEIR RESEARCH!"

Solomon hummed in approval, "It makes me wonder if the me here was intoxicated when trying to create magecraft." He shook his head, "Anyways let me assume everyone is in about my plan?"

Shirou hummed, "It depends what you want to conquer, the moonlit world or the world itself?"

"A COUP D'ETAT! WE'LL TALE TAKE OVER THE MOONLIT WORLD BY FORCE!"

Lancer whines as he spun his spear, "A coup de what?"

Shirou answered in a tone that spoke with experience, "We kill all the leaders within an organisation and then take control."

"Oohh you should of just said so ya bloody wanker."

Solomon gains a tick mark on his forehead, "Shut up dog, the masters are talking!"

"EHHH! WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL M- AHHHHHH!" A pillar of fire erupted where Lancer was standing. When the fire stopped it revealed a fading Lancer with blanks eyes, "Nan….de...dayo (why)?" And with that he faded away.

A few seconds of silence occurs, before Shirou screams, "Ahhh! Lancer just died!"

X-chan points at Solomon while shouting, "You aren't human!"

Solomon cleared his throat, "Well... getting back to the subject at hand, WE TAKE OVER A STRONG ORGANISATION AND MONOPOLIZE THE WORLD!"

"Monopolise?" Merlin questioned with a deadpan.

"Yes yes, we will create an alliance between all factions, and pull us together into congress"

Shirou widened his eyes, "THAT'S GENIUS!" However inside Shirou's head he knew it wouldn't work out.

Solomon smugly smirked, "Deshou(That's right)."

"How is that genius?"

X-chan pointed at the reincarnated Lancer shakily, "HE'S ALIVE AGAIN! HOW DID YOU COME BACK!"

"That basta- I mean real swell guy Solomon cloned me again, and I'm back."

Everyone directed their gazes to Shirou, who was just standing there confused, "Are you expecting anything of me?"

Merlin rubbed his head, "Umm well, this is the part where you say 'That's impossible! How did you come back to life everyone knows that you die when you are killed!' you know"

Shirou deadpanned, "I'm afraid we just used that joke last chapter."

X-chan shook her head disappointed, "Is the writer running out of ideas already?"

Jeanne cleared her throat in hopes to get some spotlight, "This plan is good because if we manage to get more than 51% of the congress votes, we can essentially demand anything, granted our firepower is enough to scare away competitors."

Lancer whistles, "Dem pretty nasty tactics there."

Solomon replied while smoking a cigarette, "You can't change the world with chivalry."

X-cham raised her hand rather hastily, "I take offence to that!"

Solomon cleared his throat, "Once again we're steering off topic."

Merlin and X-chan sweatdropped, ""You're the one who keeps steering the conversation off-topic.""

Solomon clears his throat for the hundredth time, "Now the only thing we need to do now is choose what faction to conquer." And with that a chalkboard falls from the sky. "These are the Factions and or Organisations that are too our interests."

Merlin sweatdrops, "I like how he talks about hostile takeovers so casually"

"And can we go somewhere private to discuss this? We're on the streets in broad daylight still!" X-chan whines as she swung Excalibur Morgan up and down repeatedly.

"I know a place."

* * *

X-chan face-palmed, "I was a fool to have hopes for a decent place."

"Welcome to our humble Maid Cafe, how can I help you?" A brown haired twin tailed maid stood by their table holding a notepad.

Solomon activated his trademark harem King smile, "I'd like a love omelette, your name and," Solomon gives a thumbs up, "a smile."

She nods, "Sure, my name is Murayama and a smile costs 500 yen with an extra 500 for my name."

Shirou laughs cheerfully as usual, "Ahaha I would believe that to be absurd, why would people pay-"

"Yes, I'll pay the extra amount."

"I'm ever so slightly questioning my love for humanity..."

Murayama confirms his order with a nod, "Pictures are prohibited by the way," she then does a radiant smile that seemed to make the sun glow behind her, then after five seconds her face turns back to neutral and holds out her hand, "That's 1000 yen." Solomon goes into his pockets and hands her a 1000 yen note.

Shirou completely loses his aura as he slams his head onto the table, "I don't even care anymore…"

"I stopped caring a long time ago.." Murayama looks away distantly with a dark look on her face. But her smile comes back when she recovers, "Can I take everyone else's orders now?"

Merlin cleared his throat, "Umm, I'll have the Caesar salad with orange juice."

"I'll have two sirloin steaks medium-rare, two chicken hamburgers, one serving of french fries, and three glasses of water!" Assassin exclaimed as she waved her sword around n excitement

Murayama sweatdropped whilst keeping her smile, "Umm, ok?"

"Hey Assassin why did you order so much! I'm paying for this!"

"Hey I'm holding back my huge appetite! I would of normally order 3 times that! Ne(Right) Shirou!"

"She's right she can eat a lot."

"Haha! That's right! Praise me!"

Shirou sweatdropped, "I don't think you should be proud for that."

Jeanne spoke up for attention, "Ummm, I'll have two angus steaks well cooked, two fish hamburgers, a caesar salad, and three glasses of water."

Shirou once again slammed his head onto the table, "Are you serious?"

Gil-kun wearily smiled with a sweatdrop, "I'm amazed you two can eat so much without gaining weight."

Assassin glared at Jeanne, "I bet all those calories go to your… big bangs.." Jeanne tilted her head not really getting what she meant.

Meanwhile within Murayama's mind, 'Who the heck are these people?' She snaps out of her thoughts and continued her strained smile, "Aha… anything more?"

Shirou shook his head back to reality, "I'll have the fried rice with jasmine tea."

"Onee-san I'll have the chicken breast kids meal with orange juice as the side thanks."

Lancer hummed as he stared at the menu, "Hmmm, I guess I'll have a medium-rare lambchop with a fish of the day and uh…. Ojou-chan, do you happen to serve alcohol?"

"Yep, we serve alcohol."

"Then bring me your best drink!"

"Ok, is that all for today?"

"Can I have another smile?"

Shirou once again deadpanned, "Seriously Solo-san?"

"That'll be another 500 yen." Solomon gave her the money and once again gave a radiant smile, only for her to regain her neutral face, "Ok, I'll take this order to the chefs now."

"I can't believe you just used 1500 yen(13 USD) for something like this."

"Hey what can I say, she's a nice girl. Reminds me of one of my wives Erika."

* * *

 **A MEAL LATER**

"Ok, there are 25 groups to choose from." Solomon pointed to the chalkboard with his teaching stick, "I strongly suggest we take over the Youkai faction."

Gil-kun shrugs his arms with a knowing smile, "You just want to have some fun with the fox girls don't you?"

Solomon smirks, "Am I that transparent?"

""Hehehehe"" Lancer, Gil, and Solomon giggled perversely.

*BANG BANG BANG*

"HAVE YOU NO SHAME!" Assassin screamed as she uppercutted the three into the roof.

Shirou sighed in relief as he mentelly fistpumped, 'Closet Pervert equals best pervert.'

*BANG*

"NANDESUKA!" was his last words before he was knocked into the ceiling.

"I don't know why," X-chan rubbed her fists, "But I just felt like I needed to do that." And Jeanne's just there wondering what the heck is happening, but also getting the message that something perverted was happening.

Murayama comes back to pick up the plates only to see all four male members of the group stuck in the roof. She almost drops her tray as her face drained of all her colour, 'Katase *sob sob* help me!'

* * *

"Ok people be serious now, which faction should we take first as our figure-head?"

Lancer hummed, "This Hero faction seems interesting."

"No that idea is overused, next."

Gilgamesh excitedly jumped, "Mina-san(Everyone)!Let's take the Uruk faction!"

Merlin whines, "Ehhh, but it says on the board that the Uruk faction is the weakest!"

Gil's red eyes seemed to darken by one shade, "Be quiet zashu(mongrel)."

"I'm sorry."

"Ok let's just take over the Camelot faction!" Assassin exclaims with a fiery face.

"It says on the board that they don't acknowledge females in high positions."

"That's ok." Assassin gives a thumbs up and a smile, "I once lived as a man for my whole life."

Gil sweat-dropped, "I don't think that will work in this day in age."

Lancer sighed, "If everyone has a different idea on what faction to take why don't we just take a faction each."

Everyone went quiet for a few seconds before Solomon spoke up, "That's... actually not a bad idea."

Assassin smacked Cu-chan on the back, "Good job Lancer, I guess even an annoying dog can have uses."

Lancer formed a tick mark on his forehead as he crushed X-chan's skull slowly with his hand with a strained smile, "What was that Assassin? Want me to reveal your secret identity?"

Assassin suddenly started shaking, "Wha-wha-what!" She shakily but aggressively pointed her finger at Lancer, "Y-y-y-you're lying! Nobody knows my identify!"

Shirou deadpanned, "You just revealed it on the streets just a while ago."

Solomon smiles jokingly, "I like how Shirou lost all his formality so quickly."

Shirou smiled weakly, "They said that death was peaceful, I'm having second thoughts about that."

Lancer threateningly walked forward, "Oh, care to test that theory?"

X-chan raised her sword on reflex, "Y-you wouldn't dare!"

"You're true name is- hey why are you charging up that-"

Assassin charged at Lancer with her two blades, "STARBURST STREAM!"

"What! Impossible! You can't possibly pull off a 16-hit com-" Without even having time to finish his sentence or summon his lance, Assassin slashed Lancer to bits, "AH(1) AH(2) AH(3) AH(4) AH(5) AH(6) AH(7) AH(8) AH(9) AH(10) AH(11) AH(12) AH(13) AH(14) AH(15) AHHHHHH(16)!"

Shirou exclaimed as he watched the remains of Lancer fade away, "Oh no Lancer died!"

Merlin pointed at Assassin, "You're not human!"

Assassin cleared her throat as she dismissed her swords, "Ok I'm choosing the Camelot faction and I'm taking Merlin with me."

Merlin whined, "Awww but I wanna take the magician faction!"

X-chan raised her blades again, "You're coming with me."

Merlin slouched down on his seat as he pouted, "Yes Your Highness."

Gil nodded as he spoke up, "Then I'll take the Uruk faction then, and I guess I'll take the dog with me." Gil cleared his throat as he made a face similar to a president we all know, "I'll make Babylon great again."

Solomon clapped his hands together with a smile, "Then I'll take the Youkai faction with Jeanne."

Jeanne objected shakily, "Bu-but I wanna go with Shi-"

Solomon then rushed to Jeanne and whispered into her ear, "Look, I'll talk to Nasu about that swimsuit Jeanne you wanted."

"I mean on second thought I always wanted to meet Youkai."

Then everybody diverted their attention to Shirou as he paid great attention to the board, "Hmmm, none of these factions spark anything.."

Solomon grasped his shoulders, "Then you don't get a choice, you have to take the Hero faction."

"Ehhh why?"

"Because then we'll have to wait and let you have your 'find yourself' inner monologue you always do."

"I don't do that all the-"

""You always do that""

Shirou pouted, "But I have to do it alone."

Solomon hummed, "I guess you do need a second in command…" Solomon summoned a book and whispered a few words before dismissing it."

"Hey guys I'm back."

X-chan then shakily pointed her finger at Lancer, "How are you alive! I just killed you!"

"Can we not have this conversation again?"

However a new feminine voice joined the fray, "AHHH NANJASOREWA!"

They all turned their heads to see a young elementary schooler in a purple and pink magical girl suit. "Ha? Illya is that you?"

"O-o-onii-chan?"

X-chan groaned, "Ehh Solo-chan, why does it have to be her? The little sister character is never a good choice in anime."

Lancer hummed in disapproval, "Oui, I thought the lil sis from 'My Teen Romantic Comedy' was good."

Merlin cringed in disgust, "Wow, you have terrible taste, the lil sis from 'Haganai' is way better."

Solomon shook his head in a arrogant matter, "Hey hey, I thought the little sister from 'Oreimo' was good."

However his statement brought silence to the table, as everyone processed what he just said. Shirou recovered first with his first action to hugging Illya sheltering her from Solomon, "Disgusting." Was all he said.

Gil-kun had a forced smile, "W-well everyone has their tastes."

X-chan scrunched up her face showing her distaste without remorse, "Solomon, can you like die over there."

Jeanne was just blushing covering her face with her hands, "Solomon-san, do you really think that?"

Solomon sweat-dropped, "Oui guys I was kidding, I actually like the sister from 'Tanaka is Listless' " Everybody sighed in relief.

Shirou cleared his throat as his parted from Illya, "Hmmmm, Illya is a Heroic Spirit now, I believe a congratulations is in order. It would seem it runs in the family."

Illya sweat-dropped at how true that was, "Haha, Well you can thank the collaboration event for that."

Shirou gazed at her confused, "I beg your pardon?"

Illya shook her head aggressively, "Nothing!"

Shirou smiled nonetheless, "Well, I know for a fact you aren't my Illya of my universe." Shirou then moves his hand to her head to ruffle her hair, "But even if you aren't the same Illya, I'm still proud of you."

Illya's face heats up as she gushed under his hand and praise, "O-onii-chan! You're embarrassing me in front of everyone!"

X-chan deadpanned, "The Brocon and Siscon complex is here.."

Merlin sighed, "Look Solo-chan, I know you like anime, but you can't bring your weab-"

Solomon interrupted Merlin's speech quickly by clearing his throat speedily followed by a nod of approval, "Well it looks like you're satisfied, so I guess we can start our invasion."

Lancer waved his spear around, "Wait wait I haven't chose one yet!"

Gil poked him to gain his attention, "Oh that, I chose for you."

"WHAT! I was gonna chose the Youkai faction! They would have strong opponents!"

"Too bad you're coming with me."

"Ha! Make me!"

Suddenly chains came out of golden ripples around him and wrapped around all his body, "The next chain is going to stab your leg."

"O-oui you wouldn't go that-AHHHHH!"

"The next one is going for your other leg."

"You're gonna have to do a lot more than-AHHHHH!"

"The next one is stabbing the shoulder."

"Oui can you like take out your chains out of my le-AHHHHH!"

Murayama walked over, "Hey this is the bill for your-" She sees the kid laughing maniacally while torturing the guy in blue.

"Yes beg for mercy!"

"What the heck kid I already said I'd joi-AHHHHHHH!"

Shirou put a hand on Murayama shoulder with a charming B rank charisma smile, "Don't worry about them, they're practising for an act."

She blushed as she completely forgot about the blood splattering, "O-ok."

Solomon cleared his throat, "So how much was this meal?"

She replied with a straight face, "25,000 yen."

Solomon cringed as he shakily said, "Umm I only have 10,000 yen..."

"Well we have a problem here then."

Gil-kun flaunted his sack of gold coins around, "Hey maid onii-san, do you accept gold coins?"

"Wait are those for actual real go-gold coins? Well umm, let me just ask the manager about that." She walked to a beautiful blonde haired lady by the counter, "Ah, um, manager-san? That table over there wants to pay in gold coins, do we accept gold coins?" She said as she pointed to the gang who suddenly made a pose in front of the sack of coins.

The manager's mouth opens agape as she stares at them, "Wha-wha?" However she regains her composure after a few seconds of staring, "How much as their meal?"

"25,000 yen."

Her mouth opens agape once more, "25- I mean I think one gold coin should suffice." However inside her head, 'Ahhhhh! Did I convert that correctly? I don't know it's been ages since I dealt with ancient currency!'

Murayama takes another look at the bag full of coins before nodding in agreement, "Ok I guess I'll tell them." she walks over to the gang, "Well, she said a single gold coins should pay for the whole meal."

Solomon's face regains composure, however Gil smiled devilishly at him, "My interest rates are 50% for loans by the way."

Solomon started sweating, "Umm, you're not actually serious are you kid?"

Gilgamesh laughed, "Of course not silly."

Solomon sighed in relief as he wiped the sweat off his brow, "Fwaaaa, you got me there for a second, I actually th-"

"It's 120% interest rates."

"YOU'RE CRAZY!"

"Haha, ok I'll stop now."

"Hey kid I'm still chai-AHHHHH MY EYE!"

"Who gave you permission to speak mongrel."

Illya attached behind onto Shirou's arm as she shakily pointed at Gil-kun with a drained face, "O-onii-chan! I thought this kid was the nicer Gilgamesh!"

Shirou nodded while taking in the scenery, "Looks can be deceiving Illya."

"AHAHA! SCREAM MORE CUCHULAINN!"

X-chan deadpanned, "Why do I hang out with these guys." She then turned her head to Merlin, "Are we the only cool pe-" She then saw that Merlin wasn't there.

"You come here often?" Merlin said to a maid walking around.

"I work here."

"Onii-chan! These guys are weird!"

"I believe that they're not all weird, Jeanne's actually the normalist person here." Jeanne however took that negatively as her face went blank in emotional pain as an imaginary arrow stabbed her heart with the word normal engraved into it.

"I don't think she wants to be normal onii-chan."

"That was supposed to be a compliment."

Solomon cleared his throat as he began to speak, "Okay everyone, I've already mapped out every faction's main headquarters, so let's start the operation now."

Illya deadpanned, "I don't even know what's happening, someone please explain."

Solomon crossed his arms as he started his explanation, "Well you guys have to help me take over the world, and now we are taking over powers that will help us do that peacefully."

X-chan and Merlin chuckled quietly as they gossiped, "Pffffft, he said peacefully Merlin."

"What an idiot."

Solomon looked at them with blank eyes, "Look friends, I'm right in front of you. At least make an effort to hide it okay?"

Illya finally processed what Solomon meant and whined, "Ehhhh, that sounds complicated…. Can I go home now?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"What about now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No"

"Please?"

"No"

"Fiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeee theeeeen, if I help you take over the world can I go back?"

"Sure."

"Onii-chan get the map, we're going home."

"Ehhh, but I wanna take over Mars after Earth!"

"What's more important Mars or your Sister." And so the two left the Maid cafe first and headed to the Hero Faction Headquarters.

Solomon turned his attention to Jeanne who was still blank eyed, "Well Jeanne, let's get moving." He stood next to the dazed Jeanne and taped his staff on the ground activating a magic circle of spatial distortion, and were moved to an area close to the Yokai Faction.

X-chan had a popping vein on her head, "Merlin, let's go now, my new Faction demands it!"

Merlin sighed, "Do we have to do it now? Can we do it later, I wanna talk with more of these fine maids."

With that Assassin bashed Merlin unconscious with her Excalibur and dragged him outside onto her spaceship.

Gil-kun and Lancer were the last people remaining, as Gil-kun was too distracted with torture to realise the situation at hand, "Oui oui Goldie! Everyone's left to get their factions! You should free me and let's go take that faction you wanted!"

Gil-kun looked around and indeed saw that everyone had left, and he sighed in disappointment, "Oh well, let's go mongrel, I'll keep you on a leash as we travel on Vimana." He knocked Lancer unconscious with a hammer to the head and walked outside to mount Vimana with Lancer chained by the neck dragged behind him, and zoomed off the the Uruk faction.

* * *

 **Chapter End**

Author's Notes- Not as good as the last chapter because of MHX alter. Blame her for not being rolled. Rate up is a lie. I'm dedicating the Omake to her now even though I know almost nothing about her persona.

* * *

 **AFTER CREDITS/OMAKE**

"So at long last we meet my alter." Mysterious Heroine X stood combat ready in front of a white haired schoolgirl with glasses that looked exactly like her, with the exception of white hair.

"Ummm, can this wait until after I finish showing your alter around?" Merlin timidly asked as he backed away from the white haired girl slowly.

"That is unnecessary flower boy, me and her are opposites are born to oppose each other." The girl known as Alter Mysterious Heroine X monotonically answered as she readied her double bladed lightsaber.

"Lightsabers huh? You really are a walking copyright infringement."

"Says the one from the Saber Wars event."

"EHHHH! YOU WANNA FIGHT!"

"Yes, my rude comments to you are showing you my hostility."

"JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE FORCE LIGHTNING, DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE BETTER!"

"You're a Jedi that can't even use the force."

"I HAVE HIMITSUCALIBUR! I DON'T NEED THE FORCE!"

"I am probably Saber class and have Crosscalibur, as well as the force. You're an Assassin who's out shined by a loli."

"FIRST OF ALL YOU'RE BERSERKER NOT SABER! SECOND OF ALL, I'M SABER NOT ASSASSIN! AND LASTLY, THAT BLOODY JACK THE RIPPER IS NOT BETTER THAN ME! YOU WANNA GO!"

"Ohoho(Monotone laugh), I am being a good Sith for tempting you to rage."

"WHY YO-"

"Hey guys what's the commotion about?" Shirou walks past to see two identical people fight off in a nerd battle.

Merlin rushes to him to hide behind him, "Stop them before they make a mess! The caster classes have a hard time repairing diamond you know!"

X-chan turns her back and waves at Shirou, "Yo Shirou, I'm just fighting my alter, don't worry about it."

Shirou deadpans and walks away from Merlin and X-chan to greet alter Heroine. He offers her a hand, "You must be the newest member of the Heroic Throne, my name is Shirou Emiya, nice to meet you."

X Alter stares at him for a good minute as she processed her thoughts, 'KYYYYAAA! IS THIS FATE! I'VE MET MY IDOL! Wait wait calm down Alter-chan, stay cool. You saw his battle prowess as a young girl and have a crush on him, that's it. Don't instantly jump on him okay?'

"Umm are you alright?"

"Can I hug you?"

"Umm wat?"

Alter then hid her face under her hair, 'AHHHHH! WHY DID I DO THAT! HE'S GONNA THINK I'M WEIRD NOW! Calm down Alter-chan, you can fix this.'

"So you're Alter Mysterious Heroine X right? It says here in the records that you are actually from my time period, did you hear of my achievements? Were they different from the original in any way?"

Alter X then plunged straight into Shirou's chest and took a deep sniff, 'AHHHHH YOU'VE DONE IT NOW ALTER-CHAN! OUR FIRST IMPRESSION RUINED.' Alter X then looked up to Shirou's confused and red tinted face, "You smell nice." She then buried herself into his chest again to hide the intense blush on her face, 'AHHHHHH! WHAT DO I DO! I'M MAKING IT WORSE!'

"Umm thanks? Are you gonna let go of me any time soon?"

"Never." She said as she buried herself deeper into Shirou's chest, 'May as well go out in a blaze of glory.'

However she then felt a hand rub her head. She looked up to try and see the source only to see Shirou smiling at her while rubbing her head, "You're cute you know, I think you smell nice as well."

'AHHHHHHHHHHHH! HE SAID I'M CUUUUUUUTEEE!' X Alter's physical composure broke down as her face went red and her eyes turned blank and fainted onto Shirou's arms.

Merlin whistled, "He knows how to kite them."

X-Chan waved her swords in a threatening manner, "2 chapters in and you've already got a 4th harem member…"

Shirou had a lone sweatdrop flowing down from his forehead, "Hey Assassin, let's not-"

"I'M NOT ASSASSIN!"


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Notes- Originally, I was gonna write a small skit with old men where their skeletons can be seen, and have them react to this chapter release, but I decided not to. Anyways, hello everybody It's been too long! This story isn't dead yet! HOHOHO! Sorry about the long drag, I had originally intended to release this ages ago, but I had stuff to do(If a Fanfiction author says this, it means they spent their whole time reading or playing games. Of course I am an exception because I would never lie in my whole life, as I am a devout Chrissttan). Before I go on, let me enlighten you about a certain thing. I have edited the first and second chapters of this fiction, and have added more jokes and information, more so the first chapter and the Illya scene from chapter two. I say I edited them, but there's probably going to be like 100 times more grammacal and spealing mistackes than before. So you should reread those if you want, it would certainly inform you more of this Shirou's character other than what you see in the gags. No onto what I've been up to… FGO wise. As people would know, if they read the author's note in the last chapter, they would know that I whaled(Spent money until they got what they wanted) for Mysterious Heroine X Alter in the Fate/Grand Order gacha. A few days after the chapter was released, I rolled 60 quartz. The first thirty roll was a dirty Helena roll, but the next actually saved me from depression. The last roll I did got me Artoria Alter, and the waifu MHXA. I have faithfully leveled her up and is max level, with almost maxed skills. The next rolls I did were the Okita gachas, and I got her on my second 30SQ roll, and that was absolutely fantastic. Now, ima just waiting for the next Jeannu rate up, screw the Sakuras. But that loli Sakura looked pretty good though, not rolling for her but she gets my acknowledgement. I haven't played the Fate/Extra series to know enough about BB and etcetera, but meh I'll figure it out one day(By that I mean browse the Type-Moon wikia if I'm bored, or if Fate/Last Encore includes her, I'm not a very valid source for anything Fate/Extra related). Also, the anime industry needs more music anime! Most of them are sh**. Your Lie in April and White Album 2 are the only ones I acknowledge. Anyways, that's enough of my ramblings, you can continue now._

* * *

"Hey" = Speech

'Hello' = Thoughts

 _Howdy_ = Incantation

""GOOD DAY"" = Everyone's Speech

*Ahem* = Sound Effect

 _Disclaimer- I do not own the Fate or DXD series._

* * *

Chapter 3 - How to stage a Coup

* * *

"Ummm X-chan? Why are we in the bushes?"

"Why else? We're stealthily infiltrating the enemy base."

"Yeah I can see that we're infiltrating the base, but I don't think we're 'stealthily' infiltrating the base."

"Why is that?"

"Well for starters the spaceship is kinda giving away our position."

As Merlin finished his sentence a patrolling guard in full armor walked past, "Why the heck is there a spaceshi-GWAA!"

The patrolling guard was knocked out by X-chan as she jumped out of the bush and kicked him. She dragged him back into the bush and piled him atop the other three guards, then proceeded to gesture her hands into a jutsu, "No witnesses!"

Merlin stood up from the bush and deadpanned, "I still can't believe how you flew straight into the castle gardens unnoticed."

Assassin smugly puffed her chest, "My riding skill is EX."

Merlin sweatdropped, "Why out of all people do you have EX riding," Merlin grabs a phone from nowhere and loads up the Grand Order Wikia and shows the page about the riding skill, "How do you even have your riding skill so high! You surpass Martha-chan, Iskander-kun, and Medusa-chan in riding, and they're all in rider class!"

She pointed her sword up as she declared, "Because Nasu!"

He facepalmed, "Of course it's Nasu…"

"Is that a spa-GACK!"

"NO WITNESSES!"

Merlin sighed as he pointed at the pile of knocked out guards, "X-chan, this is the fifth patrol guard, the command room is going to get suspicious."

X-chan nodded in understanding, then went into deep thought before snapping her finger as she thought of an idea, "Merlin use your magecraft."

Merlin tilted his head, "Ehhh? I don't follow."

She pointed at the pile of guards, "Hypnotise them to escort us to the meeting room!"

Everything changed to chibi artwork as Merlin patted X-chan on the back with a bliss expression, "Ohhhh tensai-desu ka! That's our once and future King for us!"

X-chan puffed her chest up as she laughed, "Hohoho deshou deshou!"

* * *

He walked through the silver hallways of Camelot, two pairs of Knights escorting him from the front and behind. As he walked, passing guards saluted and working servants bowed showing their utmost respect to the heir of the Pendragon house. Yes, he was Arthur Pendragon, not the real deal but his descendant named after him. Camelot had taken several years to rebuild, it's magical walls and it's sky soaring towers. Even with progressing technology it had taken awhile, however it was all worth it.

Arthur had finally reached his destination, the room where the Round Table once met to discuss. The Knights guarding the door opened it and crossed one arm over their chest as Arthur walked through to see ten idiotic modern aristocrats laughing while having wine. Arthur waited impatiently to be noticed and welcomed properly to the meeting, and after a few minutes one had finally noticed his presence and welcomed him, "Welcome your highness, I see you have decided to turn up."

Arthur had a sour taste in his mouth as he remembered all the bitter and imbecilic meetings he endured, "Well the subject at hand is a bitter one, so attendance is absolute."

One of the Nobles cleared his chest as he spoke up, "Ahem now that the subject is mentioned, what is it we're so concerned about?" Arthur had to refrain a twitch in his eye as he held back his frustration.

A red haired man stood up and explained, "Sir Montgomery, you are expected to have comfortable understanding of the subject beforehand."

The man in question rubbed his head sheepishly, "Right right right," he cleared his throat and continued, "So what is this conference about? I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible."

Arthur restrained a scowl as he took his seat on the head seat, "To make things brief, the Hero Faction has demanded we join them."

A wave of gasps erupted throughout the room, showing that everyone except Arthur and the redhead did not brief themselves, and before Arthur could sigh a member of the Table spoke up in outrage, "How dare they! We are a decades older than them, how arrogant of them to assume we could be beaten!"

Stomps of approval vibrated through the room as they encouraged the speaker. The red haired man cleared his throat for silence which he got after Arthur slammed his fist on the table, "That should be the case Sir Patrick, but the name "Hero Faction," couldn't of been more suiting."

Montgomery spoke up, "So Sir Tristan, your point is?" Everyone nodded as they waited for the information.

The redhead named Tristan calmly stated, "They have the descendants of Epic Heroes within their ranks. Surely Achilles, Heracles, and Cao Cao sound familiar do they?" Gasps throughout the room once again erupt as they shouted their disapproval to another. He held back his displeasure as he reminded them, "Mind you that, you are within the presence of our King, show respect."

A noble by the name of Maverick waved him off, "Yes yes, we're sorry." He gestured his hand toward Tristain, "If this faction is in control of the descendants of epic heroes, then what do you suggest our course of action is?"

Another noble nodded as he stated, "Our army matches up to 2500 troops, all equipped with rune engraved weapons. Do you think we stand a chance?"

Montgomery scoffed, "Surely you jest Sir Harry, they have an army of men whose ancestors surpassed fate herself."

Patrick pressed on, "But we are the descendants of the great Camelot of old, we have Sir Tristan and his Highness Arthur. If my memory serves me correct, Sir Tristan has recently regained the secret technique of his ancestor? If we combine that technique with his Majesty's Caliburn, then surely we could take out their armies?" Arthur hid his scowl, as he cursed him under his breath for dismissing his sister.

Tristan used this opportunity to speak up, "Our informants have brought back information about their strength, and it seems like almost every member within the Hero Faction has a Sacred Gear."

Maverick inquired on, "Surely they mustn't have something that trumps even Caliburn?"

Tristan grimaced, "The leader of the Hero Faction has the true Longinus, the spear that pierced the incarnate of the Christian God, Jesus."

Once again gasps erupt through the room as the room is deathly silent. Arthur himself held no delusions that his sword could blast through that type of sacred gear. Through a moment of the silence Montgomery cleared his throat, "Well, unless anyone here has any death wishes our only bet is to join."

A desperate noble of the name Harry stood up, "Wait wait wait! Surely there must be something we can do? Our faction has remained independent since the reign of Uther Pendragon!"

Tristan sighed, "That is why we were called for an audience, to discuss our plans for this scenario."

Patrick also sighed as he collapsed on his chair, "As much as I'd like to fight to the last breath, we won't even stand a chance. Surrendering is the only option."

As the table squabbled Arthur went into deep thought, 'Only when their lives are in danger do they take the meeting seriously, all the other meetings were upheld to prepare for this very moment, but of course they wouldn't listen as their arrogance clouded their judgement hiding behind our forces.' He sighed as he stared at his golden sword of legends leaning against his chair, 'I wonder what he would do…'

Arthur's musings came to a stop when her heard the clanking of metal outside the door, and suddenly the doors broke open and a girl with extremely revealing clothing broke in through the door disrupting the flow of conversation. She spoke up as she pointed her sword up and down, "THIS IS A HOSTILE TAKEOVER! GIMME THE MONEY AND NOBODY GETS HURT!"

A white haired man in wizard clothing then appeared behind her waving around a british flag as he screamed, "Yeah go get em boss!" And behind him were the knights guarding the whole perimeter also waving around a flag.

The whole table just sat there flabbergasted at the scene presenting. She kinda just poses there as she waits for any kind of movement from the party, but after a minute she kinda justs stops and whispers into her companion's ear, "They're not surrendering what do we do?"

He stops waving around his flag as he bends down to her height as he visibly panicked, "I don't know this wasn't a part of the plan!"

She sighed and made a x shape with her arms, "Ok, the mission's a bust guys, back up and try plan two now."

The guards saluted, arms across their chest, "YES YOUR HIGHNESS!" Then proceeded to leave the room in a orderly fashion.

As the group left the room the girl said her final comment as she laughed, "Haha I feel like Lelouch!"

Merlin questioned, "But I'm the one doing the hypnotism?"

"Shut up let me have my God complex moment."

As the door closed behind them the modern round table snapped out of their confusion and most of them screamed in outrage, Montgomery stood up as she stomped the table with his hands, "How did they get into the castle! This is unacceptable!"

"Why are the guards obeying their every order! I'll see to it they get punished!"

"Why is a little girl here! The guards should be ashamed for losing!"

"Preach it Sir Patrick!"

Meanwhile the door seemed to be hanging on it's hinges for dear life, "Merlin he just called me a little girl!"

"He just called you a little girl."

"Let me at em! Hold me back, hold me back!"

"Boys hold her back!"

"YES YOUR HIGHNESS!"

"Aha you're right X-chan, I do feel like Lelouch."

"Ahaha Deshou!"

And inside the room, "Milord Arthur and Sir Tristan! Please teach these clowns a lesson they'll never forget!"

"His Highness is among the strongest humans around! He should wipe the floor with them!"

Tristan sighed, "Surely you jest my friends? Burdening the King with ants? Shouldn't all of the Lords be rather adept in combat?"

"It would be quicker if his Highness did it, we should get back to this meeting immediately!"

Arthur sighed under his breath as he stood up and grasped his sword Caliburn and proceeded to walk silently towards the door. He unsheathed the sword and massive amounts of holy energy surfaced. And with that, the signal came to, as the door crashed open and a wave of water flood the floor and pillars of fire erupted all around the sides of the room and lightning coursed through the water without doing any harm towards the observers. The guards walked in as they surrounded the table with their spears reaching the skies. Arthur exerted his authority at them, "Cease this nonsense immediately! We are discussing the future of Camelot! We mustn't waste time with idiotic theatrics!" The wind around his blade started to stir as it's pressure intensified.

After a few seconds of silence, the girl accompanied by the wizard walked in with their crushing aura that demanded respect, "Very well then we shall skip the pleasantries and introduce ourselves with haste." She extended her hand as a burst of energy erupted and formed a golden sword that's very presence sent the vibe of victory throughout the room, "With this sword is my proof of my existence, along with all the lives here in this room, and the very castle we stand upon now." She stabbed the sword into the ground as holy energy flooded the room to an almost suffocating degree, "I am the King of Knights, the King of Britannia, and leader of the Round table. I now ask-" She paused as she suddenly caught eyesight with the sword in Arthur's hand, and the crushing presence of the King stopped altogether as she gushed to her partner, "Hey Merlin is that Caliburn?"

Merlin also halted his natural aura as he squinted his eyes at the sword only to widen his eyes, "That is indeed your sword X-chan!"

She laughed as she pointed at it, "How is it even still in one peace! It broke when I *ahem* decided to play dirty for once."

"I don't know but it seems in this world it never broke!"

"Hoho that's great! I can use it like Avalon now!"

"Ahh that's right, Assassin class doesn't give you Avalon!"

"Merlin do I have to remind you again!"

"About what?"

"I'M A BLOODY SABER CLASS!"

"Oh right, haha…I'm sorry your Highness please don't beat me up."

Arthur, using this chance to assume his authority, slammed his sword into the ground, "How dare you pose as King Arthur! He has been long deceased! King Arthur is no girl as well! You may be powerful enough to be called King Arthur, but surely you're not, as everyone knows he no longer remains with the living and is not a girl!"

X-chan sighed as she grumbled, "Merlin we have a doubting Thomas."

"Yes indeed we do X-chan."

"Is it because I'm a girl?"

"That's probably why Your Highness."

"Would Prototype me suffice?"

"Most likely Your Highness."

"Just because Fate/Grand Order recently released him, doesn't mean he should get a boost in popularity."

"Are you still salty about your alter?"

"...Maybe…"

"Of course you are."

X-chan cleared her throat as she turned her gaze to Arthur, "Very well, it only makes sense that you are sceptical, so I propose a bet."

Arthur raised an eyebrow, "A bet you say? It depends what we will be wagering upon."

She smirked as if she already won, "You have stabbed your sword into the ground have you not? I now ask of you the take it out."

Arthur looked at her in confusion, "What makes you think I can't pull it out?"

She kept her smug smile as she pointed at herself, "Caliburn is in the presence of the true King of Knights, so it is only natural that I can be the only one to pull it out."

Arthur had a cold sweat trail down his back as he found himself without the ability to tell if she was jesting or telling the truth, and swallowed saliva building up in his mouth, "What If I am unable to pull it out?"

She frowned, "Surely I mustn't explain it, 'The one who pulls the sword from the stone is the true King of Britain.' Don't you remember how I became King?"

Arthur stood in silence as more cold sweat formed around his body. Inhaling and exhaling, he commented with a hint in humor, "This is one bloody hell of a wager, all or nothing."

She smirked again as she gestured to the sword, "What is the matter oh King of Britain? Getting cold feet? Not that it matters either way, now that the sword in engraved in the floor my victory is assured."

Arthur knew she was right, he didn't even know why he could even process the concept of defeat in this scenario. But for some reason he could believe that the little girl in front of him was indeed the King of Knights, "Very well, I will show you that you are no King Arthur." He looked down at Caliburn in anticipation, and inhaled deeply as he gripped the handle. He looked up to see the girl smirking with a smug face like she already won, and steeled himself as he tensed his arms to pull the sword out. Shock entered his face as Caliburn refused to budge. He exerted even more force to meet the same result. He tried again and again with increasing force, enough so to crack the floor beneath him. Finally he stopped as he panted in exhaustion to see the shocked faces of his Round Table.

X-chan smirked as she made her way to the sword and proceeded to pull it out, "Ok as my first matter of business, I deman- Ara?" She then put more force into pulling out the blade, "Ok this is weird, let me just hmph!"

Merlin asked in confusion, "Umm X-chan, you do know how to pull out a sword right?"

"Just give me a bit Merlin, HMPH!" She panted for a bit before continuing to pull the sword.

Arthur and the rest of the round table broke out in laughter as they watched her try pull out the sword, Sir Patrick held his insides as he screamed, "I can't believe we thought that this little girl was King Arthur!"

Sir Henry slammed the table multiple times, "How stupid of us to assume a little girl could be King Arthur!"

X-chan ignored the bellowing in the background as she stopped pulling and crouched to get a closer look at the blade, "Look, are you still angry I broke the rule of Chivalry?" The sword somehow stretched to do a nod as X-chan sighed, "Look Caliburn, I'm sorry. I've said it before but you're too stubborn. It's been centuries since then, let's just let bygones be bygones hmm?" The sword stood silent for a bit before nodding, and with that approval she pulled the sword out and a massive pressure of Holy Aura erupted into the room as X-chan let out a triumphant smirk, "Guess who's King now?"

* * *

"Gil-kun, I can see why you could rule the Kingdom so efficiently now."

"Hmm, why is that Lancer-san?"

"Well for starters you've enslaved every guard we've come across with your chains." What Lancer said was indeed truth, as behind them were two hundred guards walking with them chained with Enkidu.

"Well I'm just teaching them who the real King is Lancer-san."

"Anyways, how are we going to rule this Faction?"

"Well we kill all the leaders and take control, that's what a coup is right?"

"Well I guess we can do that, I mean I doubt anyone could break out of these chains."

"More importantly, what happened to my gold engraved walls and floors! I paid nothing for those to be done!"

"Did you just say you paid nothing?"

"I ruled the world, of course I don't have to pay anything."

"I feel so sorry for your era."

"What was that?"

"Nothing Your Highness!"

"Anyways, the Writer-san is going to cut out now."

"What why! X-chan got so much page time!"

"Because the Babylon faction isn't even canon, it's not even supposed to exist, Babylon should be a dead faction anyways because of the God of the Bible."

"Surely he can make OCs right?"

"He can but that would take page time away from us."

"You mean he can't be bothered?"

"Look it's easier this way."

"It that why you're just going to kill everyone?"

"Yep."

"Ok cool then."

* * *

Solomon smiled as he took a sip from the tea he stole, "So how's life Yasaka-sama?"

The blonde fox women replied cautiously, "It's going fine whoever you are."

"That's good that's good."

"Solo-san!"

"Hmm what is it Jeanne? I'm in a civil conversation here?"

"Can't we do something more peaceful please! I don't wanna hurt these poor youkai for a mere talk!"

"Look, just hold them back for another half hour while I negotiate with Yasaka-sama here."

"Solo-san!"

"Do you want that swimsuit Jeanne or what?"

"AMO! FINE!"

Solomon and Jeanne were right now inside the throne room of the leader of the Youkai faction, as Solomon was sitting on a mat across from Yasaka the leader of the Youkai Faction, while Jeanne was combating the imperial guards buying time Solomon to persuade Yasaka into handing over everything they own, piece of cake. Actually, just ignore Jeanne, she's fighting in the background because as a natural law she has to have the smallest page time.

"So, Solo-san was it?" The fox woman asked as she took a sip of tea.

Solomon smiled, "Formally, it's Solomon, but you can call me Solo-chan."

She narrowed her eyes, "So, what business do you have with me? You two are very powerful, more so you. Although my whole Faction combined could most likely defeat you, you have gained my curiosity."

Solomon spread his arms out wide, "Me and my buddies are planning to make a United Factions group."

Yasaka smirked, "Hmmm, and I guess you're asking us to join?"

"Precicely."

She raised an eyebrow, "What are the perks and demerits of joining?"

Merlin noted her interest as he continued, "Starting off with demerits, the leaders lose their high position to number two."

Yasaka frowned at him, "That indeed is an outrageous claim, surely you mustn't believe that anyone agree to your terms?"

Merlin smirked, "If they didn't we would do it by force, we already have the Camelot and Uruk faction on our side, and soon to be Hero Faction as well."

A cold sweat trailed down the stunning face of Yasaka, as she had experience in telling truth from false, "So you are saying my Faction is in check?"

Solomon chuckled, "More like checkmate." He continued, "If you join our United Factions, you will be protected by the finest warriors of the land, you will be the beginnings of peace towards the moonlit world, and you will gain resources beyond that of what you possess now."

She nodded as she finally got what he was insinuating, "So basically, we become puppets that still control what we can do."

Solomon nodded with a jolly smile, "Yes yes that is correct, the only thing we will demand is that our votes in the upcoming moonlit congress be all the same, production on research or mystic codes, and participation on certain events."

She sat in silence as she contemplated about his offer, "Based on the connotations in your words, I can assume we will be treated fairly and justly? Then my last question shall be this, what do you seek amongst all this?"

She took a sip of her tea as Solomon hummed in thought as he thought through his words, "Well, one of us wants to take over Mars."

"PFFFF!" Yasaka instantly spat out her tea as she looked at Solomon with a gaze often reserved for the insanity.

Solomon nodded in approval at her reaction, "Yeah that's what I thought as well, I was thinking, 'Man what a twat he is,' and then-" A small cluster of plasma broke through the ceiling and exploded mere meters from Solomon enough for him to feel the blast of impact. Solomon laughed as a small cold sweat trail down his forehead, "I mean man he's such a swell guy hahaha… I remember when he gave me a pencil!"

Meanwhile Yasaka was sitting there in shock about how an attack could hit them like that, their perimeter was tighter than a… never mind actually, if Solomon and his friend could break in without notice then probably his others friends could as well. "Eto, Solo-san, what was that?"

Solomon scolded himself mentally as he facepalmed, "Oh right, these things aren't normal to you people."

She deadpanned, "They're aren't normal in the first place."

Solomon cleared his throat as he began to speak, "That was my friend in question's Noble Phantasm."

Yasaka tilted her head cutely, "What is a Noble Phantasm?"

Solomon clasped his hands as he pointed at her, "Good question you pathetic- Wow my habits are coming back, I mean good question you fantastic temporary student! A Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of a Heroic Spirit!"

"What's a Heroic Spirit?"

"Well my good fox women, a Heroic Spirit is a person who had done such a famous deed that they surpassed the reincarnation phase and transcended to the Throne of Heroes, a heaven 100 times better than Val...hal...la…"

* * *

FLASHBACK

"Hey Musa-chan can you pass me a dango?"

The white haired Saber froze with a dango inches away from her mouth, as her jolly and blissful expression strained. A black haired demon emperor smirked as she nicked a dango from Musashi's plate and gave it to Solomon, "There you go Solo-chan!"

"Thanks Nobu-Nobu!" He then proceeded to take a bite, however felt a stinging pain in his arm as his dango dropped to the ground.

He turned to the source of killing intent and saw Musashi with her bloodied sword drawn, "Who gave you permission to eat my dango?"

* * *

" **! #^ *$^ *$!** "

Berserker-kun is happy to finally find batteries for Illya-chan.

"Ohhhh Heracles! Are those my batteries you have in your-AHHHHH!"

* * *

Solomon sat in the study, but realised he forgot a pencil, "Hey Gilgamesh can I borrow a-AHHHHH!"

* * *

"Gold is the best! ORAORAORAORA!"

"Look Kintoki-kun I don't think Gold is the best colou-AHHHHHH!"

* * *

"AHAHAHA!" Angra Mainyu laughed as he played with a few curses in the corner.

Solomon walked up to him, "Angry-kun why you gotta be so-AHHHHHH!"

* * *

Solomon walked through the corridors and scouted a swimsuit Onii-sama, "Hehehe Sca-chan can I fondle-AHHHHH!"

* * *

"Atalanta-chan, would you mind a proposition?"

She stopped eating her pasta as she replied with small interest, "Very well, what is it?"

"Atalanta-chan, if I give this gold apple will you-AHHHHHH!"

* * *

"Ohhh Mordred-chan, can you give me a moment of your time?"

The son of King Arthur stopped in her tracks and she replied, "Umu, what's up ossan?"

"Can you sing Saberlion King's, 'I Just Can't Wait to be'-AHHHHH!"

* * *

"Hey Ushi-chan, can I just say one thing?"

The Rider class girl nodded, "Sure what do you want?"

Solomon dropped to the ground and bowed, "ARIGATO!"

Ushiwakamaru's face strained as she reached for her sword, "I admire your nerve Solo-chan."

"AHHHH!"

* * *

FLASHBACK END

Solomon sweat-dropped as his face drained of colour, "On second thought, maybe Valhalla is better…."

"Ya-chan, what the heck is happening?" Solomon and Yasaka diverted their attention to a pink haired fox-women, "Ohhh! Solo-chan is that you?"

Solomon stood up in confusion, "Ehhh? What the heck are you doing here Tama-chan?"

Yasaka dripped mountains of sweat as she panicked rushing Tamamo to a nice seat, "Tamamo-no-mae-sama! What brings you the pleasure of blessing us with your presence?"

She accepted the tea Yasaka gave her, "Well it's hard to not notice all this commotion." She sipped her tea and continued, "As to why I'm here, it's because the Throne of Heroes gave me a vacation break."

Solomon sat back down as he tilted his head, "Vacation? Aren't we already in permanent vacation?"

Tamamo sighed, "If you think that place is a vacation, you've been living a great life."

Solomon suddenly got a barrage of memories, as he suddenly slumped, "Oh right…."

Tamamo clasped her hands together as she tilted her head, "Well I don't want you taking over my faction."

Solomon gasped as he stood up facing Tamamo, "What! Why!"

"Because it's mine."

"The world can be saved and you would refuse that!"

"Yada, I won't want to."

"Damned you women! Shi-tan, get her!" He pointed at Tamamo expecting a barrage of plasma blowing her up to smithereens. However, after a minute no such thing as a plasma barrage occurred. Solomon quickly grabbed his phone and dialed a number, "SHIROU! What the heck man! Why are you taking so long! What do you mean she's Waifu material! What happened to bros before hoes! Look, I'll talk to Nasu about adding you to FGO! Ok fantastic go get her!"

Tamamo stood up and counter-proposed against Solomon, "Wait just a second there! Person called Shi-kun, don't do it! It's a waste to rid of me too soon! We haven't even done any fanservice yet!"

"Oui oui Shirou you can't betray me now friend? I'll sweeten the deal with a bigger rate up."

"Shi-tan I'll make you homemade bento with a kiss on the cheek!"

"Hey hey hey Shirou don't fall to temptation! 5 times rate up!"

"Fine! I'll make dinner and do that stereotypical wife play with dinner or a bath, or, wa-ta-shi!"

"Ohhhh she just went there! Fine! 10 times rate up with free quartz!"

"Barbarian! I didn't wanna do this but you leave me no choice! I'll let you stroke my tails!"

Solomon gasped, "You sly vixen! 100% rate up!"

"YOU FOOL!"

"YOU'RE THE FOOL, FOOL!"

"NO WAIFUS NO LAIFU!"

"BROS BEFORE HOES!"

Suddenly all that was left was the sound of the phone hanging up. Tamamo scowled, "Did he just hang up?"

Merlin replicated her scowl, "That he did Tama-chan."

"How rude."

"How very rude indeed."

* * *

"Hmm, I'm honored to be greeted by Pallas Athene herself. What brings you here, in such drastic time as well."

The white haired Goddess smiled as her white hair glistened in the sunlight, "Hail Hero, I have come to engage in conversation. An understanding of character is necessary for an partnership."

Shirou nodded in approval, "That I agree on bright-eyed Athene, I would offer you tea but I'm gathering preparations for war right now."

The bright-eyed Goddess kept her smile of radiance, "Need not fret Hero, I understand your position. However it is not of our interest to have the faction in question fall under control of an unknown variable that not even Apollo's sources have intel of."

Shirou's eyes narrowed as he kept his smile, "I see, you have only come to send a warning to us."

Athene nodded as she kept her smile of confidence, "The Hero Faction gives the Gods daily offerings and are highly desirable, so in return we will protect them from being declared on." She walked forward into Shirou's space, "You are a man of wisdom and vigor, I see it within your eyes, blades that stretch to the never ending horizon, it would be a waste to destroy such a person as you." She then whispered into his ear, "However, we will allow you to attack the Hero faction on one condition."

* * *

 _Author's Notes- Honestly, the reason why cut the last part short was because I was so tired, I was awake the whole morning, yes morning it's 8:11am and I haven't gone to bed yet. Yeah that's right I'm cool. Anyways, Although I was tired which probably will be seen in my writing, I had a good time writing the Omake, I'm considering making a spin-off fic with just banter in the Throne of Heroes._

* * *

 **OMAKE** -

"HELLO MINA-SAN! This is the Throne of Heroes Daily News broadcast! I'm your shining Anchor Marie Antoinette, Viva La France!"

"And I'm your Co-Anchor Artoria Pendragon."

"Today we have major scoops for you! Varying from a blue dog dying in a car crash, an emotional story between a lily and an alter, and a survey about Sabers."

"However before that here's the weather report from Zhuge Liang."

The camera switches to a tall man in front of a screen with nothing on it, "Today at the Throne of Heroes, we are getting the usual perfect temperature that the individual desires, and also as usual we will be getting nothing but space as the weather."

"Viva La France! Thanks Zhuge-chan! Now we go live on the scene to survey random passerbys. Over to you Medusa-chan!"

"Thanks Marie-chan, I'm in the Throne of Heroes Common Room, and there seems to be only one person, let us ask them our questions." Medusa approaches a large breasted blonde woman in royal clothing, "Umm excuse the intrusion, may I ask a few questions for our viewers at home?"

"Very well, I shall allow so."

"Thank you very much for your cooperation, I shall get to it. Do you think a Saber is only a Saber is they can shoot a laser from their sword?"

"Pfft, of course. A Saber is only a Saber if they have an attack that shoots lasers. Anyone else without a laser attack is no true Saber, only a fake."

"I see, thank you for your cooperation. Well then back to you Marie-chan while I find a new surveyist."

"Thank you Medusa-chan! So what do you think Artoria-chan?"

"Hmmm, well I agree with that passerby, a Saber is only a Saber with the cool special effects."

"That's right! Viva La France! Anyways it seems as though Medusa-Chan has found someone, back to you Medusa-chan."

"Thanks Marie-chan, I'm back with a willing speaker. Tell me, do you think that a Saber without a laser attack is no Saber at all?"

The blonde haired girl in white clothing smiled, although in a confused matter, "Well my Caliburn does shoot a laser but-"

"Well there you have it audiences at home, yet another person in favor of lasers."

"Umm eto, I haven't finished-"

"Back to you Marie while I find someone new."

"Thanks Medusa-chan, let's answer this text we got from someone who has asked to be known as ROMA. It says, 'What do I do! I am a Saber class servant but I don't shoot lasers! At this rate I can't be empress! ROMA Help me!' Do you have any advice for ROMA Artoria?"

"Hmmm, well honestly I would recommend you to another class, however if you're adamant about being Saber class I suggest getting a new Noble Phantasm."

"Ohh very wise Artoria-chan, Viva La France! Ohhh Medusa is back! Cameras switch!"

"I'm back everyone with a new participant, tell the people at home whether or not you think all Sabers need to shoot lasers from their swords?"

A blonde haired girl in revealing 'sports clothing' spoke forward, "Pfft, why even ask me this question? The sky is blue yes? The grass is green yes? Saber class servant shoot lasers from their swords yes? Such an idiotic question. Of course, the only worthy Saber class servant is me-"

"Anyway's this is all we have time for today, I hope the audiences at home enjoyed this section, back to you Marie-chan."

"Thanks Medusa-chan, ano Artoria-chan, do you feel as though all those we've collected enough information for this to be fact, I mean the surveys seem very similar in character?"

"Hmpf, why would we need to do that, it already is fact that Sabers are only Sabers if they shoot lasers."

"We have one last text before we close up, and this one is from Dango, 'Hey please help me! I can't shoot lasers from my sword even though I'm a Saber class! The Shinsengumi would be ashamed of me if they saw me like this, please help!' Is what she said. What do you think Artoria-chan?"

"As I said before if you can't shoot a laser from your sword you're not a Saber, however nothing is impossible with hard work, so push yourself to the limit to shoot a laser."

"And there you have it folks, it's time to wrap up now! Viva La France! See you tonight!"

In the background you can vaguely hear blood being puked out.


End file.
